Does It Ever JUST HURT.........

[When.There.Isnt.Enough.]

??? ??? ???  Does It Ever Just Hurt When You CANNOT Help someone that You really wish You could help...........Such as in the area of a Pathology or some such thing?I am not just talking about in the pocket as far as $$$, but emotionally does it ever hurt???Just checking to see if anyone else has these feelings ever?Thanks For The Responses!!!Sincerely,CaringHandsMss

 

[SJC]

CaringHandsMss,Of course it does, massage therapists / bodyworkers are some of the most empathetic people I've ever known. Our compassion and intuition is a vital component in our work. And just as it can be a "blessing" when we're trying to think "outside the box" when a client presents with a really perplexing problem... so it can also be a "curse" when we're not able to help someone we care about or someone whom we love is suffering.Before MT school I massaged a friend on the night before she died. Sometimes when I think about that it amazes me that I went into this career at all.And nearly 2 years ago I had a friend who suffered from Aplastic Anemia. I couldn't massage him because his health was to fragile... his immunity to compromised.  It was extremely frustrating for me.I did what I could to help his family including "sitting" with him several times so that his family could do important things knowing he was well cared for, and buying him some "steaks"  to try and help build up his blood again. I earned the money to be able to buy him steaks by doing massage.  In the end this friend lost his fight with Aplastic Anemia, and died nearly 2 years ago.So, I do what I can. Massage isn't Always the answer. Sometimes, the answer's just... L-O-V-E. :-*

 

[chillinfree]

Of course it does, massage therapists / bodyworkers are some of the most empathetic people I've ever known.

 Absolutely!I wish we could help everyone, but we have to accept the fact that we can't.  But as Maestra pointed out, we can help in many other ways.  Just trying is one of them.

 

[archjohnson]

As Maestra and Mastera stated and I concur a whole heartedly Absolutely!!I consider my profession part of the health profession so we are part of a caring nurturing loving empathatic vocation. Luckily we are on the end where we get positive feedback.With that said it is very frustrating and leaves a feeling of helplessness when we can't help someone. But who are we to say we haven't. I mean think about it. Sometimes just an empathatic ear and a caring touch is all someone needs. Sometimes the client may have too much pain emotional or physical for us to do a massage. As Maestra said massage isn't  always the answer. The answer is just plain and simple L O V E.Caring Hands MssYou have a big heart hang in there!We are here for your support.I do have a question for you CaringHands what happened recently that got you to the feeling that you couldn't help and it just hurts.Oh BTW yeah it does stink when that happens.Trish

 

[Jabril]

Does It Ever JUST HURT.........

Part of my outreach with special populations I'm using to work with an AIDS hospice. I've noted one client over the course of a few months has become increasingly thin and, although open sores have now healed over, they've left their scaring.So, yes. The knowledge that his disease will continue to progress no matter what I do is saddening.The only thing I can do is to continue working with him with the belief that although I can't cure him, I am still able to gift him with compassionate touch and all the attendant benefits.

 

[dlc8675]

Thank You ALL for Responding!!!It is encouraging to see that Others have had like experiences.MassageinTexas.....I have a client.....Someone Very near and dear to me, who has been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthiritis and the times to massage (AS FAR AS IM UNDERSTANDING) is when they aren't actually in pain??? I understand due to the nature of the autoimmune disorder ANDآ So that is what gets to me about this situation and that I pray and do all I can humanly and they still hurt.....the hurting is much and the Dr. said this person is only in the early seforum.xxxes and that it was good they caught it when they did, but that's what gets me about this situation.That's the deal!!!  YES I AGREE to L O V E is VERY IMPORTANT, yet I feel helpless at times and wish I could take away the pain!!!Thanks Again Y'all for sharing that my experience is not one I share alone !!!Sincerely,CaringHandsMss

 

[child of the sky]

Does It Ever JUST HURT.........

CaringhandsHow about energy work maybe that would help your friend. Or if either of you are open to the idea work with crystals. (Talenyn is very knowledgeable about this subject and could help you alot) Reiki is very good and easy to learn and I know there is some others.Good luck to you. We are here for you.Trish

 

[MiSs FuNkY]

Does It Ever JUST HURT.........

I have a client.....Someone Very near and dear to me, who has been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthiritis and the times to massage (AS FAR AS IM UNDERSTANDING) is when they aren't actually in pain???

So that is what gets to me about this situation and that I pray and do all I can humanly and they still hurt.....the hurting is much I feel helpless at times and wish I could take away the pain!!!

CaringHandsMss

CaringHandsMss,

As I recall you're still in school... is that correct? I would suggest that you bring this subject up in class if so. Do you have a mentor? This would also be good to discuss with your mentor IMHO.

The reason I suggest this is because when the person we are trying to help is someone "near and dear" to us... our feelings become much more enmeshed in the situation than they should be. Particularly if we're a "caretaking" personality... as I sense you probably are... after all, it's very common in the massage profession. I myself have that personality trait, as did my MT instructor and 8/10 of my class.

When treating those we love issues such as dual relationships arise, it might be good to brush up on that and other topics. (Transference etc.)

When treating those with Chronic Pain conditions there is often psychological factors that should be considered or addressed.  

And dealing with pain on a daily basis can lead to depression... I've seen it among those of my own acquaintance.  Their mental outlook can affect how the client perceives pain.

We can offer them encouragement, love, caring and support. But no matter how much we love them, our love can not cure RA, AIDS, cancer, or whatever their physical ailment may be.

Here are a few links for RA and/or massage:

http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00020.html
http://www.umm.edu/altmed/ConsConditions/RheumatoidArthritiscc.html
http://askwaltstollmd.com/archives/arthritis/40740.html
http://www.genesishealth.com/micromedex/altmedgen/amm0077.aspx
http://www.tcmadvisory.com/reflex/treat13.htm#d

And CaringHandsMss, sometimes we have to accept that we are too close to the situation, and may not be the best person for the job. We may just need to be their "family" or "friend" and leave the position of MT to someone not so emotionally involved.  In some cases, referring out is the ethical thing to do.

 

[joe d]

I am now out of school.
I do not have a "mentor" persay, but have spoken to the "near and dear" one's physician and am feeling much better about it now. They have instructed me in what type of massage and when and have helped a Great deal.

Caretaking personality.....Um........Yes!!! My Wife and both our dogs get massage regularly.

Thanks for bringing up the dual relationship part of study and transference. It was helpful to think on and look over in my materials.

Its been much better to know what to do after speaking to the physcian for me to know what to do and when to do it. Thanks For the Links Too :wink:

Energy work is not something I am into, but thanks for the suggestion massageinTexas.

Thanks For Being Here For Me Y'all!!!

Sincerely,
caringHandsMss

 

[Gavin]

The C was supposed to be capitalized

Sincerely,
Like That : CaringHandsMss
Anyway, Thanks For the Responses I really enjoy them!!!


Its Me CaringHandsMss
But I dont know what happened as I came in on the post as a guest???

 

[asian babe]

Dear maestra,

Thanks SOOOO Much for the other links!!!

Sincerely,
CaringHandsMss