When should I introduce my son to my new boyfriend?

[Elizabeth L]

I am not thinking about it any time soon because we have only been seeing each other a couple of months. He loves kids and does want to meet him someday and understands there has to be a "right time". My question is how long should I wait before introducing the two? My son is 8 months old.

Please no snotty comments, I did just get a divorce, however the marriage ended while I was pregnant. I would like honest advice. Thanks in advance!
I know his entire family, went to high school with him and have been friends since we were teenagers.. I dont think I need to do a background check.

 

[Kelly Davis]

do a background check on ur boyfriend first. me are sick and could be a rapist...

 

[I_Just_Know]

No introductions until marriage is on the table.

It's almost a non-issue because your boy is so small that it won't matter anyways, but even so, I don't think any child should be introduced until you're sure it's something with a future. There's no point in putting your kids through the drill of having to meet guys that you're just dating, because of the very real possibility they'll keep getting attached to someone who might not be a permanent fixture.

If you explain it to your new guy in that manner "John, I won't introduce you to my son until things are further along and there's the REAL possibility of something with a future and some permanence. For now, let's just spend time together and get to know each other and see how things go, ok?", I think that's a good way to put it so that it's not him - it's YOU and that you're doing the right thing by your kid.

Best of luck to you!!

 

[Tanya]

Only when and if the relationship seems to get serious, I wouldn't introduce him otherwise.

 

[Lizzy]

If your baby is only 8 months old, they can't really know who he is...I would say wait until you're sure your boyfriend's the one.

 

[i hate undies!]

i agree w the check. but if it's ok i'd hold off for a while. i think you should wait till he asks to marry you. there's no sense getting the baby attatched just yet. that way you won't have to go through the heartbrek of the baby. mothers suffer depression for 2 years after they have the baby. if you have to watch the crying, and tantrums it'll make it harder on you and the baby. he won't want to trust anybody for a while, and that can hurt more than anything