Did I do something wrong?

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Pompal 09.

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I have a client who has been coming twice a week for 30 minute neck/back sessions. She also sees a chiropractor twice a week, usually the morning after her sessions with me. A month ago she had 6 pinched nerves in her neck, and now there is only 1. Her chiropractor told her that he was certain seeing me was helping her to adjust better, and that she should keep coming. She said she felt like a new woman. She could turn her neck without pain, and her TMJ was improving. When she told me this, I was just over the moon! I felt so great knowing that I had helped this woman.

Now for the downer- She cancelled her appt. with me on Monday, and just called to cancel today's appt. as well. She said her neck was really tight, and after her last session (8 days ago) she couldn't turn her head. The next day she was nauseous & dizzy, and her chiropractor told her that her neck was in worse shape than at her very first visit with him. She implied to me that it was my fault, and said her body can't handle getting massaged twice a week.

I just don't see how this could've been my fault :undecided: I don't pull on her neck (even though she repeatedly asks me to) and I don't do anything more than medium pressure & cross-fiber friction to her neck. The friction is primarily done to her left SCM, because it is extremely tight & pulls her head to the left. I just don't see how I could've done anything to pull her disks "out of place" again. She told me at her first appt. that she sleeps with her head in an odd position, and almost always wakes up with a stiff neck. Could that cause her problems??

I'm sorry this is so long, I'm just really upset & worried right now. I hope that it wasn't my actions that have caused her pain, and I'm worried I'll lose her as a client, and that she'll tell other people that I hurt her. She also has 3 more sessions that she's paid for in advance, so if she stops coming, I suppose I have to return her money. Any advice will be extremely appreciated!
 


I doubt that anything you have done caused this, especially if she knowingly sleeps in odd positions that mucks up her neck nightly.

Rather than worrying about being blamed - and most of us would worry, so don't beat yourself up for that, either - try going at it from the assurance that you were helping, yet she somehow hurt herself again. With that mindset, you could send a friendly card saying you are sorry she's hurt her neck again, and you're hoping she gets the pain under control very quickly. Let her know you are thinking of her and wish her best. You could also add a reminder that she still has three prepaid appointments, to be used whenever she feels up to it.

Don't assume responsibility or that you're being blamed. People in pain have a very hard time with how to say something, and sometimes they're not very nice. Think of her as the "real" her, that you already know - the grateful client who appreciates what you do for her. Ignore any crankiness and chalk it up to the pain talking. Stay open - she may end up worried about coming back after having said something she didn't mean, or worry about how you took what she said. If you present yourself as the same old you that she knows, it will be easier to get past this and resume the therapeutic relationship. And if she doesn't come back for whatever reason.....don't worry about it. Someone else will fill the place in your schedule. You helped her for the time you were allowed and I'm guessing she's already told plenty of people about that.
 
Did I do something wrong?

first off do not blame yourself.

A month ago she had 6 pinched nerves in her neck, and now there is only 1.......She said her neck was really tight, and after her last session (8 days ago) she couldn't turn her head. The next day she was nauseous & dizzy, and her chiropractor told her that her neck was in worse shape than at her very first visit with him.

This is a common unwinding pattern. My mother has gone through the same exact thing. Her chrio stated that is is because she has lived her life in a holding pattern that compensated for the injuries to her spine and her body wanted to revert to that pattern. Her body was not used to being in proper alignment.
She got through it by seeing her chrio 2x a day 3 days a week for a week, while recieving body work from me at the same time. She was in ALOT of pain, each adjustment hurt and the work I did was gentle and subtle and she had tears streaming down her face the whole way through it. but in the end a week later, she was back on track to recovery.

The nauseousness and dizzyness can be caused by trigger points in the SCM and surrounding neck muscles that may have been activated and should be addressed to release further.

The friction is primarily done to her left SCM, because it is extremely tight & pulls her head to the left.
Does she have torticollis? I would just be concerned about agressive treatment with this condition. (I don't know much about it)
that she sleeps with her head in an odd position, and almost always wakes up with a stiff neck. Could that cause her problems??
ABSOLUTLEY! the chrio should have addressed this with her and suggested the proper positioning for how she sleeps (side or back)

More than anything, you need to converse with the chrio about her condition and come to an agreement with him on a course of treatment. Then, discuss with the client the fact that many conditions can get worse before they get better, and discuss what options you have agreed upon with the chrio.

Don't beat yourself up over this! Good luck!
 
Did I do something wrong?

PremoMT said:
This is a common unwinding pattern. My mother has gone through the same exact thing. Her chrio stated that is is because she has lived her life in a holding pattern that compensated for the injuries to her spine and her body wanted to revert to that pattern. Her body was not used to being in proper alignment.
She got through it by seeing her chrio 2x a day 3 days a week for a week, while recieving body work from me at the same time. She was in ALOT of pain, each adjustment hurt and the work I did was gentle and subtle and she had tears streaming down her face the whole way through it. but in the end a week later, she was back on track to recovery.

The nauseousness and dizzyness can be caused by trigger points in the SCM and surrounding neck muscles that may have been activated and should be addressed to release further.

That is so interesting, thanks for sharing that! I am curious if your mother did anything else besides the chiro/massage to re-align. Such as stretching/strengthening particular muscles on a regular basis. Could she have handled such exercise? Also what kind of injuries did she have to her spine?

Thanks!

PinkLotus, I hope you won't let this episode wound your confidence in working with her or similar clients. It's a perfect opportunity to get to know this type of healing response to be armed for the future and to also handle this client professionally. I agree with PremoMT to see about being able to discuss it with her chiropractor.
 


Rose of Sharon said:
Don't assume responsibility or that you're being blamed. People in pain have a very hard time with how to say something, and sometimes they're not very nice. Think of her as the "real" her, that you already know - the grateful client who appreciates what you do for her. Ignore any crankiness and chalk it up to the pain talking. Stay open - she may end up worried about coming back after having said something she didn't mean, or worry about how you took what she said. If you present yourself as the same old you that she knows, it will be easier to get past this and resume the therapeutic relationship.
Truer words were never spoken.
Hold the compassion that you already feel for her, and hold it for yourself as well.
I have no advice about her specific neck - we would all approach it in our own effective ways - but I do feel for both of you. Pain strikes people and their caregivers, and it is very easy to panic in its grip.
 
Did I do something wrong?

tribute said:
That is so interesting, thanks for sharing that! I am curious if your mother did anything else besides the chiro/massage to re-align. Such as stretching/strengthening particular muscles on a regular basis. Could she have handled such exercise? Also what kind of injuries did she have to her spine?

Thanks!

I just asked her, and she said she didn't do anything beyond those appointments. We were doing yoga at that point in time, but no positions specifically addressed her issues. No ice, no heat, nothing like that. Just rest, some ibuprophen when the pain was too much (she is a barber, and did not take off work)
There were no specific injuries. She was in minor fender benders when she was younger, fell while water skiing, tripped off sidewalks... all normal life events. They just take a toll over time. That and with what she does for a living (think arms parallel to the floor alot) it was just repetative strain patterns.
She's been seeing this chrio for 3 years now on a very regular basis. He has been walking her through her old injuries for that amount of time. She's gone through about 5 unwinding sessions in the 3 years. Most of which have been in her neck area.
She just told me she hasn't been to the chrio in a month. That's a long time for her! But, it's taken her a long time to get to this point as well.

Another thing you have to remember Pink is that her pain is a compilation of events, and has taken her many years to accumulate. Sometimes a gentle reminder that this pain will take at least half as long to get rid of as it did to create. There is generally no overnight "cure."
 


Thank you for all the helpful replies. I guess I was forgetting that no problem like hers can be fixed overnight, and that things do often get worse before they get better.

I don't know about the torticollis, I'm going to read into it further & see what I think. Something she told me at her last appt. has me thinking now- she said when she was giving birth to her daughter 10 years ago, it felt like her left SCM "tore away" from her clavicle. At the point where it attaches to her clavicle, it feels much thicker. I'm wondering if it did tear, and if she has adhesions? There are trigger points in her left SCM, and she says the pain is nearly unbearable when I go over them with medium pressure.

*sigh* I really, really hope that she doesn't get discouraged and stop coming. I think I will try to meet with her chiropractor next week (his office is next door to mine) and discuss her diagnosis & problems. I just have this huge desire to help people, especially those with chronic pain, and when she came to me and said how much better she felt, I was so happy. I'm trying to take everyones words to heart & not be hard on myself. I'm so grateful for so many replies in such a short time!
 


P.L., remember HIPPA laws. The chiro can't and/or shouldn't discuss her without her permission. You have the right to call and ask if you can discuss her situation with the chiro..Good luck!
 


Hi Pink Lotus.
You mentioned doing cross fiber friction on her scm's. Were you close to any nerves of the cervical or brachial plexus? Sometimes this can cause such a reaction. Deep fiber frictioning can be quite traumatic on certain areas of the body. I would greatly suggest you purchase a vibrator with available heat or cold. 'Brookstones' sells one that is quite effective. You wanna make sure the head of the vibrator moves from side to side and not like a piston because you want to reproduce that side to side 'frictioning' one normally does manually. The nice part about this type of vibrator is that it does the frictioning so rapidly, your client will feel very little discomfort and the results will be good.
You might want to suggest or discuss with her chiropractor the use of certain supplements which can speed things along and cut down on her discomfort as well.
Also, you could offer a free session to make up for her discomfort but this is your call entirely. If she is a long standing client and or you want to have good relations with her and speak kindly of you, consider it. Word of mouth goes a long way in our business.
And lastly, we all make mistakes. Chalk it up to a lesson learned.
I hope this is helpful to you.
 


Well, she's decided that maybe twice a week was too often for her, and has started coming just once a week. She says she feels much better now, and hasn't had any more pain. I think getting adjusted & getting a massage 2x/week was just too much on her body. She'd never been to the chiro before recently, and had only gotten massages once every 6-8 weeks. She's also fairly sedentary, so I think that her body just couldn't handle it all. Now that she's down to once a week, she says she feels great.

She told me at her last visit that she had told a couple of friends about me, and her husband called me a couple days ago wanting a massage ASAP, but I was all booked for the day & instead of making an appt. for the next day, he just said "well, thanks anyway." *sigh* But then today, his mother came in & bought a GC for him from me.
 


Wonderful! I am so glad she is feeling better, AND you have gotten some great refferals from her. :D
Thanks for the update!
 
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    Wednesday at โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™ ๐Ÿ’œโŽ๐—ฆ๐—จ๐—š๐—”๐—ฅ ๐—Ÿ๐—ข๐—ฉ๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”โŽ ๐Ÿ’–๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’˜: ELLA, LILY, SUSAN & TIFFANY. 1270 Finch Ave W (at Keele St), Unit 18. North York, ON โ˜Ž ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿฑ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฒ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด โ˜Ž ELLA is a lovely Thai sweetheart, 5โ€™1โ€ with C Cups, smooth skin and a very pleasing attitude. LILY is a beautiful slim Thai lady, petite with C Cups & a nice medium sized ass. Her services will complete your day.
  28. Bencook:
    Suko have Youngest Beautiful Lily ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ๐Ÿฅฐ Hellen Sky Lucky Michelle Emma ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿคฉ๐Ÿฅฐplease call 647 718 6182
  29. DareDevil:
    ARIA WELLNESS โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธADDRESS: 360 HWY 7, UNIT #6, RICHMOND HILL,647-222-5683 โ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ(PHONES CALL ONLY, NO TEXT'N AVAILABLE) โ™ฅ๏ธTODAY'S Schedule!โ™ฅ๏ธ Loaded lineup with Beautiful Girls : Young RMT Student Helen, Pretty Girl Apple, Magical Mia and Work out๐Ÿ‹๐Ÿšด๐Ÿ’ช Babe Amy! SPECIAL PROMO 30 MINS 2 GIRLS $70 ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน**TODAY'S PICKS OF THE DAY ARE ๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ APPLE AND HELEN๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿญ**
  30. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน2 girls ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ5124 Dundas St W Etobicokeโ˜Ž๏ธ416-817-3366๐Ÿ‘ Table Shower Sea Salt Bath Body Scrub๐Ÿ˜˜ Japanese girl Nina โค๏ธ Natural Big Boobs 38 DD ๐Ÿ˜˜Pink Mini Nipples Hot body slide, super enjoyable๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ very provocative service๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜, professional super Luna deep tissue massage, has therapeutic effect to loosen bones and relieve muscle pressure and will bring you unexpected service effects, she will bring you a little surprise๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธYou are welcome to make an appoint
  31. luckywellness:
    Lucky Wellness Center 4379721888 295 Eglinton Ave E,Unit 7,Mississauga We had two girls working today. Niko and Kiki. They are both young, pretty and cute. The massage and back walking were very good
  32. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒบWonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800โ˜Ž๏ธbest massage in vaughan,Wednesday RMT available,๐Ÿ’„sexy face young girl Joey natural c cup,very good looking nice body slide,really popular ๐ŸŽlong hair Q Lucy good strong to relax oil massage, Relieve pain and remove stress,more experience,๐ŸŒนvery friendly Cici,open maid.new girl,amazing touch,happy the end,must try ๐ŸŽˆ๐Ÿ”ฅgive you warm comfortable time๐Ÿฅคโค๏ธ
  33. Sunrise Relaxation(416)916-7276:
    Tomorrow@Sunrise Relaxation Downtown: Tiffany, Vivian and Kitty will be on shift. Call (416)500-0921 for detail schedule and insight info
  34. EMSpa_schedule:
    Tomorrow's sneak peek: On Wednesday June 4, 2025, our attendants will be Cici ๐Ÿ˜, Opal ๐Ÿ˜˜, Carla ๐Ÿฅณ and Vicky ๐Ÿฅฐ. Call us at โ˜Ž๏ธ(905) 479-6668โ˜Ž๏ธ to book!
  35. Sunrise Spa:
    ๐Ÿ˜˜ We have a wonderful Asian spa in downtown Toronto ๐Ÿ˜˜ 302 Adelaide St W, 2nd Floor ๐Ÿ˜˜ Today is OLIVIA, ANGELA, LISA & KITTY ๐Ÿ˜˜ 416-916-7276
  36. wilson holistic centre:
    new girl works at ๐Ÿ’‹535 Evans Ave today ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-531-6969โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ
  37. wilson holistic centre:
    ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•Beautiful Korean girl working at 382 Wilson Ave ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-840-0071โค๏ธโค๏ธ
  38. SL Spa:
    ๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™€๐Ÿ’–Tuesday ๐Ÿ’œ Ultimate destination for Asian massages๐ŸŽ‰ Two fab spots: SL Richmond Hill & SL West Oakvilleโœจ Your passport to paradise with 10 enchanting girls fr China, HK, Japan & Korea โ€” ๐Ÿ†• Aliyah, Jasmine, Echo, Cindy, Coco,Cici, Doris, busty Amber, Kelly & Luna โ€” ready to pamper you๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ Ring us ๐Ÿ“ž647-695-6354 or text us ๐Ÿ“ฑ647-578-8169โœจ 160 East Beaver Cr., Unit 12, RichmondHill ๐Ÿ’ฐWhere Eastern charm meets Western comfort - your bliss awaits๐Ÿ™Œ
  39. Bencook:
    Suko have many beautiful girls working here ๐Ÿ˜Newer lala 24,beautiful lineup Mia Nora student Hellen Big boobs jojo yumi please call 647 718 6182
  40. Lulu1980:
    Phoenix Blossom Spa ๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน๐ŸŒน Table shower .body scrub ๐Ÿ˜˜Three girls every day ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ 5124 Dundas West Street, Etobicoke โ˜Ž๏ธ 416-817-3366 ๐Ÿ‘ Newโ—๏ธNew girl Angela ,so young Petite and pretty๐Ÿ˜‹ open service ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ Sweet girl Luna deep massage ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜ Hot and sexy body very provocative service ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ You are welcome to make an appointment at any time or walk in directly through the back door. We have ample parking spaces available
  41. SpringGreen.:
    Today we have 5 girls on downtown Toronto 72 gerrard st west๏ผš๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹ New girl Hitti very young๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’‹Lisa- Tanned Spanish beauty with large melons and a fun booty too minica- exotic goddess with a gymnasts body and corresponding flexibility Jennifer- Exotic beauty with... Call and text 647 891 0699 ask...
  42. SugarLoveSpa:
    today have tifany mia chrishtina come baby Chuyแปƒn enjoy your time with all service available have beautiful young girl 20 to 30 years old, Sugar Love spaโ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ (437) 365-2688๐Ÿ“ฒโ˜Ž๏ธ
  43. wonderspa:
    ๐ŸŒบWonder spa,(9421Jane st unit127)call416-5000-800โ˜Ž๏ธbest massage in vaughan,Tuesday RMT available,๐Ÿ’„sexy very young girl Mimi๏ผŒlong legs ,natural c cup,very good looking amazing massage nice body slide,really popular ๐ŸŽlong hair Lucy Q smile,very good looking ,strong to relax oil ,back walk,more.. hair Lucy Q smile,very good looking ,strong to relax oil ,back walk,more experience.must try๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘
  44. wilson holistic centre:
    new girl works at ๐Ÿ’‹535 Evans Ave today ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’•โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ416-531-6969โ˜Ž๏ธโ˜Ž๏ธ
  45. Jennyโ€™s Spa:
    โœ…๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ”ฅGOOD NEWS GOOD NEWSโœ…๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ”ฅ ๐Ÿ’‹Cambodian Princess Suki will return to Jennyโ€™s Spa next Tuesday June 3rd๐Ÿ’‹ ๐Ÿ˜˜The famous superstar Cambodian Princess Suki from Annie Spa will be working at Jennyโ€™s Spa in Etobicoke next Tuesday June 3rd with Tina & Jenny๐Ÿ˜˜ ๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’JENNYโ€™S SPA๐ŸŽ‰๐Ÿ’ โœ…5170 DUNDAS STREET WESTโœ… ๐Ÿ‘ŒETOBICOKE ONTARIO M9A 1C4๐Ÿ‘Œ โ˜Ž๏ธ( 647-893-5196)โ˜Ž๏ธCall or Text โ˜Ž๏ธ( 437-888-3759)โ˜Ž๏ธCall Only OPEN 10am to 9pm MONDAY to SUNDAY Suki๐Ÿ˜is beautiful short petite tiny sexy student from Camb
  46. AliceSpa:
    TUESDAY at ๐—”๐—Ÿ๐—œ๐—–๐—˜ ๐—ฆ๐—ฃ๐—”, 4915 Steeles Ave. E, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿต๐Ÿด-๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿด๐Ÿต๐Ÿด. 2 Young Beauties Today at Alice Spa. Open 10am to 9pm: AMY (10am โ€“ 9pm) is a young, petite short & slim Taiwanese, former dance instructor, firm natural B Cups, pretty face, firm natural titis, super play good, bbbj, cim, rim, dfk, all services. JESSICA (3pm-9pm) is from Hong Kong, super busty D Cup, 5'2", 109 Lbs
  47. ForeverWarden:
    Tuesday at ๐Ÿซฆโค๏ธ๐Ÿ”ด๐ŸŸฅโ™พ๏ธ๐“•๐“ž๐“ก๐“”๐“ฅ๐“”๐“ก ๐“ข๐“Ÿ๐“โ™พ๏ธ๐ŸŸฅ๐Ÿ”ดโค๏ธ๐Ÿซฆ2190 Warden Ave, Unit 201, Scarborough ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿฒ-๐Ÿด๐Ÿฌ๐Ÿฌ-๐Ÿณ๐Ÿด๐Ÿด๐Ÿณ: Cindy, Tracy & Vivian. Cindy is a slim beauty, 5โ€™4โ€, natural C Cups. Her massage is nice, her services will drive you wild & her finish is a dream come true. Tracy is an incredibly cute & pretty Japanese/Taiwanese mixed spinner, about 5โ€™1โ€ and 100 lbs. She is very popular for her exotic massage & services.
  48. bnwellness_wilson:
    We have 4 young girls are working today, young fun Ivy 36DD with big buttocks 30โ€™s open mind and young cute slime Sophia 30โ€™s, young flirty Mia 25โ€™ with curve body and pretty GFE Lina are providing deep tissue massage, pls call 4163985777 bomok appointment and walk in always welcome,back entrance and parking available, 350 Wilson Ave North York
  49. HolidaySpa:
    Tuesday at ๐ŸŒด๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ…๐“—๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ฒ๐“ญ๐“ช๐”‚ ๐“ข๐“น๐“ช๐ŸŒ…๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒด3517 Kennedy Rd, Unit 4, Scarborough โ˜Ž๏ธ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿฏ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿฎ๐Ÿฐ๐Ÿณ-๐Ÿญ๐Ÿญ๐Ÿต๐Ÿตโ˜Ž๏ธ: EMMA, JENNY & CINDY. EMMA is a very beautiful slim Chinese honey with C Cups, beauty face, & nice services to drive you wild. Jenny has a medium build, nicely curvy with a slim waist, pretty face, and very flexible skills. Jenny will make you very happy. CINDY is slim & incredible
  50. starjey888:
    Cof
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