Help with Wording for Promo

[zeltzin]

Hi Everyone,
I'm working on some postcards to hand out (a great idea that I saw on here) and could use a little help with the wording. My plan is to offer a 90 minute in-home massage for $85. (I figure since I'm already there, what's an extra half hour anyway.) My target market is the main Defense Contractors here (Anteon, Raytheon, Northrop Grumman, Lockheed Martin) since there is such a huge Military Community in the Hampton Roads area. Anyway, I'm not sure how to grab their attention and I could really use your feedback (and maybe even some suggestions ) This is what I was thinking:

90 Minute Massage for $85

Does it seem like everyone had a Vacation but you?
Take some time for yourself and schedule a massage.

~Costs less than what it would cost you to go somewhere for a massage.
~Relax in the Comfort of your own home.
~Don't have to worry about wasting gas and sitting through traffic.
~Great for those with Disabilities

Then at the bottom, have my contact information. I'm new to all this and know I'm a bit rusty, so I do appreciate any kind of constructive criticism. Thanks again and have a great week!!

 

[Wiett]

Is your rate always $85, or is that a special? If it is a special, I would make sure to note that. Or you could use the "F" word- "Free". Something like:

Schedule before [date] and get 30 minutes added on to your appointment for FREE.

I imagine you will find many other great ideas in throughout this section. Good luck.

 

[mike m number 4]

Hi Palpable,
It's a special. I'm going to charge $105 for an hour and a half, so I'm offering $20 off. At the Day Spa I work at, the owner is too Discount Happy and is always taking $15/$20 off my services, and working on Commission, well, that gets old really quickly.S o I really hate using the "F" word. I understand starting off that I either have to give time or money away, so I'm going with the time by adding the half hour. I just don't want my clients getting used to seeing the "Free" stuff (like my clients at the Day Spa do). They seem to only book when there is a promo going on :. Needless to say, I'm tired of working with people who undervalue my work. Anyway, here's what I have so far for my postcard. tell me if it looks too cluttered or anything.

Also, In your opinion, which do you think sounds better? 1.5 hour Massage or 90 Minute Massage?

Thanks again and have a great day!!

 

[Mandy]

let me try that image again:

 

[alekssebasstrs]

Just a thought; nowhere on you postcard does it mention the high quality service that you provide. Draw upon this as a reason that they would choose you, vs. the special pricing, or at least emphasize this. Unless you make this the reason they see you for services, when the special rate expires, they may look elsewhere for another special rate. You may want to put the fact that the massage is in-home in the large font section where you state "90 minute massage for $85" to reinforce the value. Also, from a asthetic sense, limit your use of capitalized word on the card.

 

[Antonio]

Hi Walt,
Thank you so much for the feedback!!!! Great Point with the Quality of Service!!! I'll work some more on it today. I really appreciate everyone's help on this!! Thanks again!!

 

[Fitzsy]

Love the postcard. I think, though, that I would say something like this on the left hand side (brown box):

ESCAPE and INVIGORATE

Freedom from stress, tension, and muscle aches and pains. Revive your spirit through a variety of therapeutic massage services. In-Home and Office Services available.

Then on the right-hand side I would say:

Summer Special (or the duration period of your special)

90 Minute Massage
$85.00
($105 Value)

~ Alleviate low-back pain and improve range of motion.
~ Increase joint flexibility and reduce spasms and cramping.
~ Relax and soften injured, tired, and overused muscles.
~ Release endorphins— the body’s natural painkiller.

Schedule YOUR appointment online today.

 

[The Magician]

90 Minute Massage
$85.00
($105 Value)

I think that's much better. On your card, aimelie, the "save $20" looks like you'll be taking $20 off the $85!

 

[PPV -IN]

Hargrcha
Thanks, I'm taking advaneforum.xxxe of Vista Prints promo on the Postcards and this is one of their templates under the Beauty/Spa/Massage category. Thank you so much for your input. Yours makes it look so much simpler.

Seebs,
Your absolutely right, Thanks for pointing that out!!

 

[tui]

Vista Prints promo

I'm a big fan of Vista Prints myself.

 

[Pauly]

Yes, definitely put your real price on the card. Otherwise I like it...

I couldn't find that style... I haven't been happy with the restrictions that vista has had on building a postcard... but that one seems to be able to fit on a lot for our purpose. Do you mind posting the direct link for that card?

 

[Krista]

Hi Muriel,
No problem. I picked the Oversized Post Card just for the extra room. If your a member of ABMP, they partner with VP and are currently offering 100 Oversized Postcards for free, just pay S&H. I figure I'd go ahead and upgrade it to the Full Color on Back (which has all the text) for the extra $9.99.
One thing I did notice is that on the bottom the the screen, there's an Advanced Editing link that takes you to another page where you can Add more text, move it around, make it more personal. That's how I was able to make mine more customized.
So I just went to VP to find the link and the Oversized one was not there , but I did find it in the regular sized Post Card. here is the link to that: Vista Print Link
I'll keep an eye out for the Oversized one.

I hope this helps.

 

[texaschick200670]

You may have corrected this already, but I didn't notice your phone number anywhere on the postcard.

 

[Wallace]

I would put some punctuation in "Neck Back and Shoulder Pain"

Neck, Back, and Shoulder Pain

neck pain - back pain - shoulder pain

Something like that.

 

[Brutus]

It's a special. I'm going to charge $105 for an hour and a half, so I'm offering $20 off. .......I understand starting off that I either have to give time or money away, so I'm going with the time by adding the half hour.

Those two statesments don't match up to me. You are saying that you are giving extra time, but really you are offering $20 off a service. Either way you are giving money away it's just the way things are worded which would make it seem otherwise.

If you are trying to build up an out call practice you might want those people getting used to paying your regular rate and actually adding time when they book your normal rate. Schedule 90 minutes $105 receive an extra 30 minutes. That way at least they have already giving you your going rate so when they call you again it won't seem like they are being charged more.

But if you are sick of dealing with customers who only book when something is on special, why are you offering a special?

Are you trying to build an out call business on the side while you are working at the Spa? If so you might consider just marketing yourself (like others have said) as a fabulous out call service provider. Talk up what you offer as a therapist to people who would be looking for this service already.

I would not waste time and money trying to convince people that out call massage is a good idea by give reasons why someone would want to receive a massage at their home/office. You are either preaching to the chior or giving a sales pitch depending on the perspective of the customer. Use your marketing dollars to point out what kind of work your awesome with, what kind of client you love to work with. Neck pain specialist, love to help the busy mom make the most of her time to herself or the chronic shoulder tension melt, etc. People who identify will call people who don't won't, but you'll never have to convince anyone of anything.

If I wanted regular clients, I would not market to people who view massage as a consolation prize to a real vacation. (from your first post of ideas). Don't market your service like it's a treat or an escape from real life unless you want people to call at the last minute when they need to escape or once a year when they need a vacation.

If you are trying to build a practice for yourself and you currently have a paying job (already doing massage especially) then I recommend that you use this time to build a practice that you want to have in five years. Do you want people to always pay your going rate, then market for that. Do you want to constantly be running specials, then market for that.

ETA: will poster or a mod please fix the link so it's not stretching the page.

 

[Sharon]

Hi akb,

Great Points. I guess your right, since time does equal money, I'm still giving it away. Actually, $85 is what I charge for an hour so they are receiving the extra 30 minutes (Free..ugh). Yours is worded so much better Thank you!

I guess (as much as I hated it) I just got so used to how the Spa promoted me that I used the same techniques. Lure them in with an offer they can't refuse. Hopefully they'll love my work so much that they rebook for a next session (which some do). Then realize all I attracted, were cheap clients who only came in where there was a promo. Thanks for opening my eyes to that I plan on staying there until September. She has this big fund raising event going on that I promised I'd help her with. So once that's done with, I'll be flying solo 8)

Anyway, thanks everyone for the great input. I'm realizing that there is just so much more that I need to learn.

 

[amanda g]

If you highlight the benefits that you are offering through your services, your target market is most likely purchase what you have to offer.

You've identified your target market in this statement: "My target market is the main Defense Contractors here (Anteon, Raytheon, Northrop Grumman, Lockheed Martin) since there is such a huge Military Community in the Hampton Roads area."

These individuals are working under extreme stress, have job-related tension (Defense Contractors), muscle aches and pains from their military training (Military Community) ~ differing per person. Thus by highlighting the benefits of what your massage will do for your potential customer will likely attract them to purchase your services ~ where the benefits they will receive will outweigh how much money is spent to purchase that benefit.

 

[Mr.Answer]

Thanks -

Yeah, I never noticed that advanced editing button before... that is the key!

 

[HaK attack! [panda-kun]]

Muriel:
No Problem! I'm glad I could help!!

Hargrcha:
I used to be in the Coast guard for 9 years before I changed careers to MT. I worked with alot of the Contractors in these Companies as well as former Co-Workers of mine who got out of the CG and are now working for these companies. They're how I'm getting my foot in the door. Actually as I write this, I'm thinking of changing my tactics in this promo. I'm thinking of coming from the point of view of been there done that, I know what your going through, and this is how I can help you. Thanks for helping me realize how to "target" my target market :

akb:
Thanks for stressing to me the importance of marketing what I can do and how I can help, rather than discounting. Definitely going to use that with my new direction.

 

[" ? "]

akb:
Thanks for stressing to me the importance of marketing what I can do and how I can help, rather than discounting. Definitely going to use that with my new direction.

You are welcome! Keep us posted.