How to not get hit over the head with a bottle... Please advise

[LadyCatherine]

Howdy- The physical violence thread prompted this post, but I've been meaning to ask some of the more experienced BMs for some advice. Long story short, last year on tour I ended up spending 3 weeks with the same girl, who actually followed me from Pattaya and "bumped" into me on the streets in BKK (the grapevine is massive, my friends). Anyhow, I really liked her, and since i was a newbie, got a little carried away with the "I love you" stuff. I did make it clear to her that I would never get married with her or anything, but I guess I did sorta ask what it would take to get her out of the bar scene, which likely led to her attachment to me... I realize my mistakes now, and hopefully won't get that serious again...

Anyhow, she's pretty crazy (and so am I). We had lots of fun, but some arguments, face slapping and such. I tried to change ladies a couple times, and ended up with major scenes with her standing outside my door screaming for an hour that the girl was only "mia noi" and she was "mia lua". This was a year ago, and I've allowed our email communication to peter off and haven't heard from her in about 3 months.

So my question for the Yodas on the board is how to handle this best on my return. I will be spending my first 12 days in Patong, then will likely end up in Pattaya for at least a week. I'm hoping she doesn't stalk me all the way down in Phuket. My ideal (which i realize is basically impossible) would be to spend a few days with her at the end of my trip, as I would like to maintain a less serious friendship with her for years to come. But, barring that, how do i avoid getting a bottle over the head, a stilletto in the 'nads, or a knife in the ribs? She's likely to get fairly crazy if she found out i came to Thailand and never contacted her. My hopes for her never finding out that i'm there are pretty slim. So I was thinking it would be best to initiate some sort of contact with her (email/phone/face-to-face) once I get there, so that she doesn't have to hear it second-hand and "lose face"?

How have/would you guys handle this?

thanks,
super-small-squat
(i've lost 43 lbs since my last trip!!!)

 

[Ryan I]

If she cause so much problem why bother to have her again??????????????????????????????????

If you don't want hit by bottle then-

Point at her with your foot
Pat her head.
Bar fine other girls at bar she works at
Tell her you love her and want to look after her then bar fine another girl from same bar again!!

Guarantee you will have more than a bottle hit you!

 

[David W]

Thailand is a big country really , you don´t have to sit i her lap just because it´s to crowded , do you ? ...
If nessesary use a helmet

 

[Mark D]

disguise your face with a santa-claus beard and shout "ho-ho-ho!" now and then

 

[inquisitive_1]

Grow a beard or something, I wouldnt go to Pattaya though if she has a lot of friends there - She'll lose a ton of face if shes been telling all her mates your her guy and then you turn up there without her knowing.

If it was me I would tell her I might be getting a standby type flight to Pattaya in a slightly different week/month. Then just come to Phuket, If you bump into her, you just got there that day and were gonna give her a call.

 

[Kaia]

Got to agree here, Pattaya could be dangerous. If you really want to go there I would say front up, go and see the girl in the daytime when all are sober and her buddies are not around and say 'sorry, we are finished. I want to see other girls and I promise to be discreet about it' (you might want to change the spelling of 'discreet', and maybe explain the concept)

Bottom line is that you are entitled to go on holiday unmolested, go see the girl and straighten it out.

 

[Aye Jae]

Sorry, forgot to mention, did you work out that 'jizz' is a tit? Good, just ignore him, he will crawl back up his own butt soon and change his name but until then you just have to skip past his posts.

 

[sara g]

Ah yes- Jizz's advice is always helpful no:

I appreciate the advice, but yeah, I don't want to be banned from Pattaya for life now, so I wanted to work things out somehow. I try to do unto others as i'd have them do unto me, but I get a bit confused about this whole "face" thing, cuz what I prefer is direct honesty, and that doesn't seem to be the thai preference. so I think I'd be more upset (if i was her) to bump into me and have to deal with all that emotion at once, vs. me approaching her and trying to smooth things over somehow. I wouldn't be averse to say, buying her a nice necklace or something to show her friends. I know some guys are gonna start hollering about "screw that, you don't owe her nothing", but I do think she's the coolest chick i met in thailand so far. I just wanna meet more :biggrinlo

 

[Sandra C.]

Since your emails have, as you put it, petered off, then I think the relatonship is over. Why start it up again, since you know how crazy she is?

If I were you, I would let sleeping dogs lie. Skip Pattaya this tour and check out Samui. If she shows up in Phuket and makes trouble, then jump on a plane the next day and go to Samui.

Unless you want a serious relationship with this girl, I think you are making a big mistake to hook up with her again. When you know just how crazy a girl is, then I think it best not to underestimate the trouble she can try to cause you. Read the thread about the German who was stabbed.:what:

But if you feel you must contact her, do it now and clear the air with her while she is 10,000 miles away, not while she is within a bottle's throw of you!!

 

[phatdog]

OMG I agree with Jaybee!

Kind of a case of 'let sleeping dogs lie' really. Contacting her will only rekindle her interest/claim on you.

 

[My_Babies_Mommy]

Quick story. I fell hard for the first girl I met in Thailand, and was back within 3 months to see her. By my 3rd trip I was thinking 'this is great but look at all the hotties I'm missing out on' so next time around I sneaked into town without her knowing, or so I thought.

Well the first night I was there she found me and bashed me up pretty good with a mobile phone (think mobiles in 1997, it was big man). Well, I managed not to punch her and we talked it through in the end (following day), I told her we were finished and she accepted it.

Her big problem was that she knew that I was in town within 2 hours of me getting there, and so did her mates. I had made her 'look stupid' and that's what she was so angry about, fair enough.

It was also a pretty lousy trick on my part, so I went and said sorry, had a nice conversation and promised not to go to the bar where she worked for the rest of my trip.

The major point for me was that I did not want to be 'banned' from Patong for life or forever watching over my shoulder. The only way to avoid that is to straighten it out with the girl. Buying her something nice may well be the right way to achieve what you want, also not telling her where you are staying could be fairly smart.

 

[Pompal 09.]

A lot of guys on return trips have to solve the same problem.Some girls just want to be the top dog(more like queen *****) and hate to even see an ex boyfriend with someone else in her patch.It is the big Face game.

I would avoid Pattaya this trip and come south to Phuket.With any luck she has a new boyfriend anyway and will have lost interest.If you do meet up give her the old story "my E mail address was changed"etc.

 

[Thistle (BU)]

Back in the states now- figured I'd round out the thread. So I stayed in Patong for most of my visit- but couldn't resist the devil's playground (Pattaya daytime action cannot be beat!!!) so went there for the last 5 days of my trip. I managed to completely avoid the soi where the lady in question worked for the first 2 days, butterfly'ed a bit, then decided it would be nice to see her. I went to her old bar, no one remembered her, her old house, they said she checked out, so dug thru my email's for her phone number. She was quite happy to hear from me, and when we met she was crying (from happiness I hope). Anyhow, I embraced her, then noticed a lovely new tattoo on her back. She had been branded by another falang. Luckily, they are still together, and he is taking good care of her. She no longer works in the bar and is very happy. I was a little surprised, but really happy for her, and this certainly let me of the hook as well. We spent a couple days together, no boom boom, didn't think it was appropriate (her logic was what he doesn't know won't hurt him :bangin: ), and now have managed to turn a girlfriend into a friend. Never had much luck at that before.

All's well that end's well.

 

[canizzy_123]

Sounds like you handled it pretty well. And thanks for letting us know how it panned out.

 

[iluvemocharlybrown]

Good result there. some things do work out well in the end

 

[mad hatter]

Its kind of funny that you didnt want to be stalked by her, but in a way you stalked her by going way out of your way to find her.

At least it worked out though.

 

[love bug]

I think he did the best way. better to find her and find out that she has a new friend, than someday she is finding him , waiting with a knife in her hand. round the corner.:thumbsup:

 

[CB#32]

Just to be my usual sh1t-stirring self again!! How long after we break up with them, suffer the heartache of being beaten over the head with a bottle, mobile phone, stabbed with a nail file and having the tyres let down on yer Honda do you think it takes these girls to find another Boyfriend!

I'm not trying to push these kevlar helmets here as blatent advertising isn't allowed but if you feel you are going to get into a head meets Singha bottle scenario I can knock you one out at $157.50 plus shipping and tax. Thanks

 

[Lexie]

What colours do they come in.:bangin:

 

[dorothy s]

You can have any colour you want as long as it's...............................