Pirates Bar

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Agree Phil - heard this on Wattsie & Martin breakfast radio around 1971 in Perth.
Maybe MC heard it from KL's school friends ?.......;....55555!
 
They had radio back in '71 ???
You and Phil would be the only BMs that'd remember that ....but dont worry , you both will forget it anyway in a year or two! ...555
 
"Can I feel your treasure chest"

"All hands on d1ck"

"Nice booty"

Arrrrggghhh

I do like 'prepare to be boarded' reckon that one might get some use..
 
Yeah there was radio in '71 but you used to get too tired from pedalling...

Nahhh.. sorry there's a few more of us that are that crusty....
Mind you with the early onset alzheimers..........

Originally Posted by Evilbaz View Post
Agree Phil - heard this on Wattsie & Martin breakfast radio around 1971 in Perth.
Maybe MC heard it from KL's school friends ?.......;....55555!

"Wattsie" (John K Watts) used to say this in promoting a local pool company "Buccaneer Pools" but he goes way back to the old vaudeville days so i would guess that's where the saying originally comes from. He would'nt get away with it today though, its all far too PC
 
heres one claimed to be from BKKChat..

-----------------------------

>> HornyGuy has joined room #bangkokchat
ThaiGirl> Hello ka
HornyGuy> Hi
ThaiGirl> i from Thailand
HornyGuy> I know that, stupid
ThaiGirl> sorry honey :-(
ThaiGirl> u want talk with me?
HornyGuy> Why should I?
ThaiGirl> forget it mai pen rai
HornyGuy> Hey wait a minute
ThaiGirl> what?
HornyGuy> Sorry I’m just a bit paranoid.
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> I ’think too much’
ThaiGirl> why honey?
HornyGuy> I’m hiding from the cops
HornyGuy> The boys in brown
ThaiGirl> LOL
HornyGuy> Don’t ****ing laugh at me
HornyGuy> It’s no joke
ThaiGirl> what u do?
HornyGuy> You don’t want to know
ThaiGirl> i do
ThaiGirl> pleeeeeease honey na na na ;-)
HornyGuy> I ****ed an elephant
HornyGuy> Hello?

ThaiGirl> u crazy guy baa
HornyGuy> Send me your photo
ThaiGirl> why?
HornyGuy> So I know you aren’t a cop
ThaiGirl> i no cop
HornyGuy> Then send me your photo
HornyGuy> Hello?
ThaiGirl> i no want send u i no beautiful
HornyGuy> Most cops aren’t
ThaiGirl> I NO COP!!!
HornyGuy> Then send me your photo
HornyGuy> Hurry up
ThaiGirl> i no want send
HornyGuy> **** you, cop
ThaiGirl> I NO COP U CRAZY GUY!!!
HornyGuy> Then send it
ThaiGirl> ok what u email?
HornyGuy> Just send it here
ThaiGirl> ok *PIC*
Thaigirl> u get?
HornyGuy> Just a second
Thaigirl> my friend take it last year
ThaiGirl> i lose my kilo now
HornyGuy> I hope so
ThaiGirl> ?!?!?!
ThaiGirl> why u speak bad?
HornyGuy> Did I hurt your feelings?
ThaiGirl> yes
ThaiGirl> i no lose kilo too much
HornyGuy> Will you feel better if you see mine?
ThaiGirl> yes
HornyGuy> Hang on
HornyGuy> Here it is *PIC*
ThaiGirl> this no u!!!
HornyGuy> Yes it is
ThaiGirl> profile pic no same same
HornyGuy> The profile photo is a fake
HornyGuy> I use it to fool the cops
ThaiGirl> u baby face guy
HornyGuy> You’re so fat you need an aerial photo
ThaiGirl> go **** yourself
HornyGuy> I was going to until I saw your photo
HornyGuy> I’ll never get a hard-on again
ThaiGirl> why u speak bad too much?
ThaiGirl> i no should send photo before
ThaiGirl> why u hurt me?
HornyGuy> So you think baby-face doesn’t hurt me?
ThaiGirl> i think u lie
HornyGuy> I think you have your own ZIP code
ThaiGirl> u bad guy jai rai
ThaiGirl> people joking me all my life
HornyGuy> Ok, I’m sorry
ThaiGirl> u no sorry
HornyGuy> You’re right, I’m not
HornyGuy> HAARRRRR!
ThaiGirl> u boring now
HornyGuy> Aww, I’m sorry
ThaiGirl> i put u on ignore
HornyGuy> Wait a second
HornyGuy> We got off on the wrong foot
HornyGuy> Wanna start over?
ThaiGirl> no
HornyGuy> I’ll eat your pussy
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> You heard me
HornyGuy> I said I’d eat your pussy
ThaiGirl> but u little brother no hard
HornyGuy> Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
ThaiGirl> i want u horny
HornyGuy> Well I’m not like most guys
HornyGuy> I get turned-on in other ways
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> Do you really want to know?
HornyGuy> You have to tell me yes or no
ThaiGirl> i no sure
HornyGuy> Why?
ThaiGirl> because
HornyGuy> Because why?
ThaiGirl> u boom boom elephant
ThaiGirl> u say i fat
ThaiGirl> now u want eat my pussy
ThaiGirl> u strange na?
HornyGuy> No
ThaiGirl> i think u strange guy
HornyGuy> Fine
HornyGuy> I won’t do it then
ThaiGirl> i no say that
HornyGuy> So is that a yes?
ThaiGirl> i think so
HornyGuy> Ok
HornyGuy> I need your help getting excited though
HornyGuy> Are you willing?
ThaiGirl> what u want me do?
HornyGuy> I need you to talk like a pirate
ThaiGirl> ???
HornyGuy> That’s a ’jon sala’ to you
HornyGuy> When I start to go limp... you say HARRRR!!!
HornyGuy> Ok?
HornyGuy> Hello?
ThaiGirl> u no serious!
HornyGuy> Oh yes I am
HornyGuy> It’s my fantasy
ThaiGirl> u crazy guy jing jing!!!
HornyGuy> Do you want it or not?
ThaiGirl> i want
HornyGuy> Then you’ll do it for me?
ThaiGirl> ka
HornyGuy> Ok here we go
HornyGuy> I gently remove your panties
HornyGuy> and I begin to massage your thighs
HornyGuy> You’re getting really juicy thinking about
HornyGuy> my tounge brushing up against them
HornyGuy> I softly begin to touch your wet pussy
HornyGuy> I run my tounge down your smooth slit
ThaiGirl> mmmm yeah
HornyGuy> Uh oh... going limp
ThaiGirl> Har
HornyGuy> You have to do better than that
HornyGuy> Your photo was really bad
ThaiGirl> HARRRRRRRRRRRR
HornyGuy> Ahh much better
HornyGuy> Your pussy moistens with every stroke
HornyGuy> I softly suck on your clit
HornyGuy> bringing it in and out of my mouth
HornyGuy> Your juices run down my chin
HornyGuy> Your scent fills my nose
HornyGuy> I feel empowered by your femininity
ThaiGirl> mmmmmm u good
HornyGuy> I feel your thighs tighten as I suck
HornyGuy> Going limp
ThaiGirl> HARRRRRRR
HornyGuy> Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks
HornyGuy> You begin to sway back and forth
HornyGuy> Going limp
ThaiGirl> this stupid
HornyGuy> ...still limp
HornyGuy> Do it!
ThaiGirl> HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
HornyGuy> I turn you around to lick your arsehole
HornyGuy> and pry apart your massive butt-cheeks
HornyGuy> I see the hair around your arsehole
HornyGuy> covered in shit-nuggets
ThaiGirl> WTF?!?!?!
HornyGuy> They stink really bad
ThaiGirl> OMG STOP!!!
HornyGuy> I get fed up with your ugly fat butt
HornyGuy> I tear off your wooden peg-leg
HornyGuy> and ram it up your ****!
ThaiGirl> U ****ING PYSCHO!!!
HornyGuy> Then I pour hot caramel over your head
HornyGuy> and turn you into a ****ing toffee-apple
HornyGuy> You like it, you little Thai pirate slut!
ThaiGirl> **** U ASSHOLE!!!
HornyGuy> I kick you in the face
HornyGuy> Your parrot flys away
HornyGuy> ...going limp again
HornyGuy> Hello?
HornyGuy> Say it!
>> ThaiGirl has left room #bangkokchat
HornyGuy> HAARRRRRR!!!!!
 
555.........sure hope that was a cut and paste LiL!
 
Hmmmm, bit of a contradiction, but there again why worry??

This was probably in vaudeville long before my time, but the fact that MC remembers it, or even repeats it, says more about MC than anything else which has been written.

And Les, as regards saying that it is a little too subtle, it is about as subtle as an air raid!!! 555555
 
Actually I was too scientific to pedal - I saved that for the paper round at 5am.
I had a 1,5 volt battery and a crystal set which would even pick up the BBC.
This was well before microwaves (originally used for healing purposes) were discovered.

And Les - go forth and fornicate ( which got JK banned from radio).

And to my friend MC - "et tu Brute".
(translation for the EEC - Using Brute 32 makes you lose your mind) 55555!
 
I put it in the BN thread before.. Think I found it posted claiming to be from bkk chat..
 
They should have special 'pirates' rope swing in there so Baz can lower himself down on to the ladyboy..................................bars below!

Save on all them steps coming down!

Pretend your sticks a cutlass and a little eyepatch Baz! Eh?
:intello:
 
On the subject of new bars, just slightly getting away from the pirates, I went into the new Parrot bar which is opposite soi Sea Dragon, and on the corner of a little soi which houses a couple of Italian restaurants and the Islander pub. Anyway, it seems like a prime site, however, now comes the problem.

Having a bit of a sweet tooth, I ordered a Mai Thai, which was probably one of the worst I've ever tasted, and certainly did not have the required alcohol content. However I put that down to me having consumed a bottle of red wine and a beer beforehand. So ordered another sweet drink, a Pina Colada (spelling??).

This one was even worse and I couldn't for the life of me remember having had two drinks as bad/poor as this before. I can only put it down to the fact that may be they were using small amounts of the required alcoholic components, or that it was local stuff being substituted for the real stuff.

So, they have lost a customer. Foolish really, because there is no need to do this, and surely in these times the object of the exercise is to nurture your customers/provide great service, and encourage them to return time and time again.

And yes I did complain about the first one, but only mildly so, and when the second drink came along I complained again, and one of the ladies suggested they could add some more alcohol to it, however I was so pissed off about being ripped off twice, that I left, never to return.
 
Exactly... Order cocktails in 99% of Bangla bars and they are going to go hunt for the card to explain roughly what goes into it and have a rough stab at it..
 
NASA is still trying to figure out what is in Nicke's Black Death and Fisherman's Friend......... let alone what Dingo and Geir used to serve up!!!
 
I can remember being " a swinger "

Which eye do I cover Mullah Denpah - the one on the stick?

Arrrgh - shiver me timbers Lassie.
 
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